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A Man Once Was
(From the
Woodsman’s Notebook)
It’s funny when some
think I’m putting on an act,
they say pull
yourself up by your bootstraps and you’ll make it back.
I am supposed to get
on with life like it was before, but what sort of ghost
will be at the door.
I’ve been locked up
in this prison of mine way to long, what of these last
three years where have they gone? The panic starts up
when I step outside, but when I’m here in my dungeon I
feel safe I feel fine. The anxiety I feel it won’t give
me rest, like a thirty foot python wrapped around my
chest. They say that fear and depression are all in my
head, this new fear of people are the crushing I dread.
The shakes and the tremors won’t go away, even being
medicated they get worse each day. A man before this
clad in iron and steel, walls wrapped around me like a
banana peel. Safe back then with nothing to fear,
attitude of intimidation were part of my gear. Baying
back people arms length away, the attitude I still have
this very day. A chameleon, a wolf stay hidden from
site, a fear of being captured against their might.
So strong, so bold
with nothing to fear, since then what has happened is
still unclear. My dear, my love, I need you to know,
this had nothing to do with you, it started a long time
ago.
The Woodsman
12/13/04 |
