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A Popular Kid in town
(From The Woodsman’s Notebook)
I heard a song the other day which
brought a strange haunting from my past.
Like a wrecking ball in the guts, it hit me with such a
force that my mind wouldn’t,
Or maybe just couldn’t leave it alone.
It was about a young man I knew since grade school.
Popularity came easy to him
He had a way about him, the knack you might say to be a
popular kid. He had charm; he had wit he had class that
just wouldn’t quit. Never mind where he came from, never
mind the color of his skin, none of this mattered at
all, he was a popular kid. There were times we could sit
and talk until someone else came around; then things
changed after all he was a popular kid.
Like myself he had a fear of failing and not measuring
up. He had a sensitivity a shyness which like me he hid;
after all, he was a popular kid. Yes he had his scrapes
here and there, in class and who knows where, but I
guess there is always a price to be paid to be a popular
kid.
Through out high school his circle of friends grew
larger after all why not; he was a popular kid. When my
father died and I drank to much, Tommy told me it was
time for me to drop the crutch climb out of your shell
and quit living life as a personal hell. Being a loner
was not the way to be, but this was the only safe place
for me, being a popular kid just wasn’t for me. He also
told me in almost an accusing way, you have heart and
you care too much of what others say. You got to stop
worrying about what others think or do, you have nothing
to prove, just be yourself. |
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After all he should know he was a
popular kid. Time passed since high school and
we lost base. Me, well I got kicked out of
school for something I believed in wouldn’t you
know that would be the case, or was I just
trying to hard to be a popular kid.
So out in the world I had something to do, I got
married and made some statewide moves, joined
the Army with something to prove. Having a wife,
a daughter then later a son, a family, career,
comes the responsibility we had no room for the
pleasures and fun. Where did it get me when I
lost it all? The security of my own safe little
world and family to some righteous calls. I
almost lost my life to alcohol and pain pills,
crazy driving searching for thrills. Living on
the edge and waiting to fall off.
Even the Army couldn’t help me through the self
destruction I was headed for. After all I was
becoming popular. For twenty more years I’ve
been playing Russian roulette taking unnecessary
chances with my life I would bet, 110 or 240
volt more than once I’ve taken a jolt. On the
job as well as off, on the road or on a roof it
didn’t matter much to me. I guess that is the
price one pays for a short period of popularity.
My brothers got me to make the move to Black
River Falls. Telling me the change would do me
good. The older of the two had started a fight.
So I moved to the woods severing all ties,
trying to forget that night, never showing care
to who was wrong or right. The forests are my
home and the Woodsman I’ll be. Alone again, to
hell with popularity.
After a week or two my younger brother came to
my cabin to see he was worried because he hadn’t
seen nor heard from me. John found me in pretty
bad shape that day with a rotten cold, weak from
pneumonia and having a battle with an asthma
attack. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t walk, it
was hard to breathe and it was harder to talk.
(Flip to Next Page) |
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